Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Its never an easy task. But keep at it!
Lately, its all been coming together. Just everything either takes time (by that I mean a few months) or there are so many issuses to acheive the task that its not even worth the effort any more. I'm trying very hard to relax. I think I've forgotten how to do that. Its not like I have much time to anyway. Even now I cant finish this post. Haha...midway writing and I've got to go. Sad thing is I'm not going for myself. I'm at the mercy of others, always helping to the point of exhaustion. I like helping, but when is it too much? It wouldnt be so bad if something worked out for once. Anyway, Off to take my sister to the place to get her new, beat up car..again.....(was closed yesturday and this place sucks..its in the middle of Birmingham, about 30 mins away, in the deepest ghetto)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Some requests
To try and keep myself sane I've been accepting requests on Deviantart. So far its the usual dragons, wolves, and foxes. I've been working on them in photoshop and learning quite a bit from them, so its a good way to help me improve my skills. I would still like to work on people more, thought im so bad at them I'm afraid to post anything I do. ANYWAY..here are some of the requests I've done.
PS..the first three are colored pencils the other one is photoshop...my other requests aren't done yet,. will post them when I am :)
Today me and my sister are doing pretty much nothing...again. For the last couple of days we've been doing nothing. Its not that we enjoy doing nothing...its just we dont have money or means to go anywere. Im alittle afraid to drive my car too much, its not exactly in tip top shape. And I need to save on gas and save for groceries. Hopefully my sister's In-laws will pick up the pase and sign the stupid paperwork. my sister cant really do anything until they do that. There was money in her husbands account that we need and she cant get to until they sign the paperwork. At this point we desperately need that money. I'm sure things will work out though.
On a lighter note, I wont be sleeping on the couch anymore after thursday. :) Me and my sister are going and emptying the storage unit of all her stuff. It was either that or pay them another month. So hopefully Ill have a desk and a bed! Also More good news, I'll finally get to see my boyfriend again! I havnt seen him in about 6-7 months. He's a US Marine and he's been in twentynine palms, California for his schooling. I got amazingly lucky and he'll only be about 3 hours driving distance from were im living now. he alos might even be concidered undeployable! i'm trying not to get my hopes up to much, one things I've learned about the military, is to never expect anything and most things are liable to change. I think he's alittle bummed though, for one he joined the military to try and be the protector, instead he got a computer MOS and will probably be undeployable. Also he's the only one from his school that is going to Georgia. It's mixed feeling for both of us. But in the end I'm hoping that for once we can have a somewhat normal relationship. :)
On a lighter note, I wont be sleeping on the couch anymore after thursday. :) Me and my sister are going and emptying the storage unit of all her stuff. It was either that or pay them another month. So hopefully Ill have a desk and a bed! Also More good news, I'll finally get to see my boyfriend again! I havnt seen him in about 6-7 months. He's a US Marine and he's been in twentynine palms, California for his schooling. I got amazingly lucky and he'll only be about 3 hours driving distance from were im living now. he alos might even be concidered undeployable! i'm trying not to get my hopes up to much, one things I've learned about the military, is to never expect anything and most things are liable to change. I think he's alittle bummed though, for one he joined the military to try and be the protector, instead he got a computer MOS and will probably be undeployable. Also he's the only one from his school that is going to Georgia. It's mixed feeling for both of us. But in the end I'm hoping that for once we can have a somewhat normal relationship. :)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Warik
This is Warik. I have sorta a world in my head. Im hoping one day to maybe make it into a book. Warik is one of the main-side characters. He befriends the main character, Cain, who is human and stumbles into this other world from earth. Theior is the name of this world. And here, creatures and all of its inhabitants have magical or enhanced abilities of some description. Wariks kind can quite simply "talk" to creatures without speaking. He can even control them to a degree or at least push sugestions in their minds. And by "talking" its more like pictures, though they can understand many languages, or at least are very fast learners. Warik's speacies are extremely intelligent, though many still live off the land some live amoung the "civilized."
No Tears for Grim
This is grim. Hes unfinished and Im dont know if ill ever finish him. Hes the most technical colored pencil piece I've ever done. He also one of my favorite pieces.
Here is his meaning and the approach I tried to take:
When you first look at the grim reaper a surge of fear or hatred often pass through our minds, but a closer look shows the solemn expression on an expressionless face. One whose sole duty is to reap the souls of those who are dieing or about to die. In a way the grim reaper is the most merciful being in our books. He saves us from potenial pain and the dispair that comes from liveing forever. Yet he is hated and alone. he will always be alone and misunderstood, but still does his job and will do so for all enternity.
Where to begin?
Not much happened today. Went with my sister to her first counceling appointment in a long while. I didnt go into the office. I think she just wanted me there because she didnt know were the building was and maybe needed some family support afterward.
My sister is now the widow of a United states marine. Her husband was injured and had been in and out of hospitals for about 5 years. He suffered of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). He also lost a leg in Iraq. He died in a rehab center in Texas. The pain meds he was taking for his leg injury were very addictive. After many things happening, he finaly began to get help. He fell backwards and hit his head. This happened about two months ago. I happened to be the only close family here when it happened.
Before I was living with my sister, I lived with my grandparents in Foley, Alabama. Before that, I lived with my parents in Anchorage, Alaska. Anchorage often felt like a trap. I loved it there but hated it more. Between the extremes of the 19hours of darkness in the winter, the almost 24 hours of light in the summer, and the sheer isolation from the rest of the world, I was going mad!
I had been working a job at a sams club to try and save money to get out of Anchorage for about a year. I had about 5000$ to attempt to make my way. On my 19th birthday, I bought my ticket to Foley, Alabama. The way I figured, I could stay with my grandparents for a while to try and find some roots. Well...it didnt really work out. My grandparents kinda live in the boonies. in either direction there isnt a real town for at least 30mins. One way you had Pensacola, Florida, in the other there was a small town of Elberta and alittle farther..Foley. Really my grandparents lived in Lilian alabama...but Lilian is so small it doesnt even really show up on a map, so its just easier to say Foley. My grandparents also own a church. Its a very small church, only about 12 people show up. Most of them are the same people I remember as a kid. (did i mention I lived in Foley when I was young?) A few new faces, that honestly I grew kinda attached too. Anyway, so basically every Sunday morning, Wednesday morning and Wednesday evening I had some sort of a church event. That doesn't include some of the other churchly events that would happen like work day and a few other things. I would always go to church, part in obligation, other, I honestly enjoyed church and the people who went. In a way they are like a second family. I also went to just about any "old people" thing my grandparents went to. Like NARF meetings, which is basicaly an organization for active and retired federal employees. My grandad was in the navy. these were monthly meetings where i was the only one who was under 65 yearsold. I actually really liked the NARF meetings. Old people have the most interesting stories and in a way are much more fun to be around. They arnt afraid to make mistakes and just be themselves. Strange I know...but they are alot of fun. Anyway...between church and "old people" things I didnt do much else. Without a car your kinda stuck and finding a car for under 3 grand isnt an easy thing to do. Speacially when you really dont like asking for favors (it ws pretty difficult for me to ask my grandparents if i could stay awhile...was worse when I asked if I could bring my cat). Eventually I got a car for 1500$ from a girl who had just bought another car. She kept good care of it and seemed honest enough. So, the next step was to look for a job. The problem with that is well, the economy kinda sucks here. Or at least in Foley Alabama. really i just needed a job to keep my car going..in the long run i wanted to go to University of West Florida, which was in pennsacola. Not my first choice of schools but I really cant afford a fancy art school. i was slowly in the process of looking for a job when My sisters husband died...In many ways it felt like the world was crashing around. Me and her hadnt been very close and that was quickly about to change. Even though we have tons of extended family here in the south..we arnt very close to them. I think im the only one who my extended has nothing bad to say or gossip about. So in a way I was the only family my sister had. We got through the funeral. Her husbands family pretty much took over. They didnt like her very much and pretty much put all of Foley against her, even though she had basically taken care of her husband and done everything for him. Shes much nicer then I am in many ways. Even now they are still giving her trouble. Anyway, My sister is in the process of buying a house, though at the moment shes having many financial issuses. Pretty much i'll be living with her, paying rent. We may have to get another roomate, but this was pretty much a win win for the both of us. I wouldnt have to stay with my grandparents, I'd be living in a bigger town with more oppertunities, I'd be close to a pretty good art university (Montevallo), and I'd be close to family I can relate too. Also some of my sisters best friends live next door. And for my sister, well I think shes happy to have some family around and she'd much rather have me as a roomate instead of a random person...plus i think shes happy she can help me out. :) Right now the house pretty much has no furniture except a big couch a few tvs and a table. me and my sister are both sleeping on the couch. Most of her things are in storage. We are waiting for some things to go through before we can get to the furniture..plus we need to empty a few thigns out of the garage and it is VERY hot outside these days. My Alaskaness is definately not used to the heat and humidity...but thats pretty much were I am today..im still not sure how long im to stay here or what will happen next. Hopefully soon Ill get to talk to a Montevallo counselor to see what it take to get in..or if i even have a chance. Anyway talk more tomorrow. I'll post some of my art things too :)
My sister is now the widow of a United states marine. Her husband was injured and had been in and out of hospitals for about 5 years. He suffered of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). He also lost a leg in Iraq. He died in a rehab center in Texas. The pain meds he was taking for his leg injury were very addictive. After many things happening, he finaly began to get help. He fell backwards and hit his head. This happened about two months ago. I happened to be the only close family here when it happened.
Before I was living with my sister, I lived with my grandparents in Foley, Alabama. Before that, I lived with my parents in Anchorage, Alaska. Anchorage often felt like a trap. I loved it there but hated it more. Between the extremes of the 19hours of darkness in the winter, the almost 24 hours of light in the summer, and the sheer isolation from the rest of the world, I was going mad!
I had been working a job at a sams club to try and save money to get out of Anchorage for about a year. I had about 5000$ to attempt to make my way. On my 19th birthday, I bought my ticket to Foley, Alabama. The way I figured, I could stay with my grandparents for a while to try and find some roots. Well...it didnt really work out. My grandparents kinda live in the boonies. in either direction there isnt a real town for at least 30mins. One way you had Pensacola, Florida, in the other there was a small town of Elberta and alittle farther..Foley. Really my grandparents lived in Lilian alabama...but Lilian is so small it doesnt even really show up on a map, so its just easier to say Foley. My grandparents also own a church. Its a very small church, only about 12 people show up. Most of them are the same people I remember as a kid. (did i mention I lived in Foley when I was young?) A few new faces, that honestly I grew kinda attached too. Anyway, so basically every Sunday morning, Wednesday morning and Wednesday evening I had some sort of a church event. That doesn't include some of the other churchly events that would happen like work day and a few other things. I would always go to church, part in obligation, other, I honestly enjoyed church and the people who went. In a way they are like a second family. I also went to just about any "old people" thing my grandparents went to. Like NARF meetings, which is basicaly an organization for active and retired federal employees. My grandad was in the navy. these were monthly meetings where i was the only one who was under 65 yearsold. I actually really liked the NARF meetings. Old people have the most interesting stories and in a way are much more fun to be around. They arnt afraid to make mistakes and just be themselves. Strange I know...but they are alot of fun. Anyway...between church and "old people" things I didnt do much else. Without a car your kinda stuck and finding a car for under 3 grand isnt an easy thing to do. Speacially when you really dont like asking for favors (it ws pretty difficult for me to ask my grandparents if i could stay awhile...was worse when I asked if I could bring my cat). Eventually I got a car for 1500$ from a girl who had just bought another car. She kept good care of it and seemed honest enough. So, the next step was to look for a job. The problem with that is well, the economy kinda sucks here. Or at least in Foley Alabama. really i just needed a job to keep my car going..in the long run i wanted to go to University of West Florida, which was in pennsacola. Not my first choice of schools but I really cant afford a fancy art school. i was slowly in the process of looking for a job when My sisters husband died...In many ways it felt like the world was crashing around. Me and her hadnt been very close and that was quickly about to change. Even though we have tons of extended family here in the south..we arnt very close to them. I think im the only one who my extended has nothing bad to say or gossip about. So in a way I was the only family my sister had. We got through the funeral. Her husbands family pretty much took over. They didnt like her very much and pretty much put all of Foley against her, even though she had basically taken care of her husband and done everything for him. Shes much nicer then I am in many ways. Even now they are still giving her trouble. Anyway, My sister is in the process of buying a house, though at the moment shes having many financial issuses. Pretty much i'll be living with her, paying rent. We may have to get another roomate, but this was pretty much a win win for the both of us. I wouldnt have to stay with my grandparents, I'd be living in a bigger town with more oppertunities, I'd be close to a pretty good art university (Montevallo), and I'd be close to family I can relate too. Also some of my sisters best friends live next door. And for my sister, well I think shes happy to have some family around and she'd much rather have me as a roomate instead of a random person...plus i think shes happy she can help me out. :) Right now the house pretty much has no furniture except a big couch a few tvs and a table. me and my sister are both sleeping on the couch. Most of her things are in storage. We are waiting for some things to go through before we can get to the furniture..plus we need to empty a few thigns out of the garage and it is VERY hot outside these days. My Alaskaness is definately not used to the heat and humidity...but thats pretty much were I am today..im still not sure how long im to stay here or what will happen next. Hopefully soon Ill get to talk to a Montevallo counselor to see what it take to get in..or if i even have a chance. Anyway talk more tomorrow. I'll post some of my art things too :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Day one..a blog
Well I dont have enough time to really post anything spectacular, right now. And life has finally taken a short break. Right now Im in birmingham living with my older sister. Neither of us has been employed for a while and we are finaly building up to that point. My sister has been going through some rought times. Seems I was there at the right time. Anyway, I suposed i'll start off with this. My life isnt spectacular, but I have my stories, my thoughts, and things have happened. I dont have a sad story or a gripping story...i'm just trying to figure out how to be happy in this thing we call life.
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